Botox for butts (and other fancy GI health tips)

One of the changes I’ve had to get used to upon moving to New Zealand is that medical offices exhibit very little of the American paranoia around client privacy. And so, in addition to things like Doctor Sam asking Scott whether we’d gone on the hikes he’d recommended to me during my last visit and our dentist giving Scott shit about the fact that I am long overdue for a cleaning, everyone in the waiting room at the gastroenterologist’s office got to hear about my upcoming colonoscopy.

I won’t go into the details about my symptoms other than to say they warrant the procedure; my grandmother had to have her colon removed at a relatively young age, so we’re proceeding cautiously.

The doctor explained that one of the possible treatments (depending on what they find, and how I respond to other options) may involve Botox. I missed all the articles about “Anal Botox” that apparently made the social media rounds last year and found this fascinating, immediately texting my brother:

Screenshot 2018-08-06 at 7.14.07 PM.png

Pretty sure he had Botox confused with collagen injections, but I certainly appreciate the belly laughs that ensue every time I revisit this exchange.

Only a few days later, to my great delight, Hank Green posted this video, in which he waxes poetic about the benefits of colon health, though I’ll admit I’m with many of the commenters who prefer vegetables, whole grains, and legumes over Metamucil:

Bottom line (see what I did there): eat your fiber, stay hydrated, and get screened.


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